Who is responsible for the unfortunate situation of your most cherished relationships? Why do not receive the same tender loving care to keep giving to another person? Why does not he / she cost you? Why did you only give one pleasure, but never receives the same? Why dysfunctional people always seem to be attracted to you? These are the kinds of questions that bother some individuals to no end. They read every book of the relationship, work, and advice column can get their hands on, hoping to discover their way out of trouble in a state of euphoria that dream when it comes to the partnership.
If you can not find anything in writing that will bring clarity to their relational problems, they are willing to attend conferences, workshops, retreats, and any other event in the hope that a motivational speaker, relationship experts, managers or conference will finally provide them with answers that you are looking for, and in some cases, paid good money. Books, articles and how-to manual in hand, they eagerly back over excited and ready to apply new knowledge, only to discover, things are still the same. Anxiety remains, anxiety is a difficult and suffering attached to every part of your life. If a partner does not respond in the way books, articles, conferences, retreats, workshops, or promised, irritability, confusion starts to creep in. and accident increases. Now for the first laundry list of issues was even more questions added to it. Why is my partner is not responding, why he / she is so stubborn, why would not he / she will change if all these things to improve this relationship? What is wrong with people, and finally, what's wrong with me, or what have I done to deserve this?
When the answers to such questions remain elusive, there is one place where people hate to look like, because consciously or unconsciously fear that there will not be able to handle the answers. They fear the answers will be charged. Yes, there is an opponent who knows a million ways to destroy that relationship. The opponent is far more than any knowledge of the external forces when it comes to figuring out exactly what is needed to disassemble the connection. This can cause the destruction of the likes of which no other man or woman has the power to do. The opponent is so adept at undermining or sabotaging the best efforts to attract, cultivate and maintain a healthy loving relationship because it is the opponent of the "enemy within". This is true in many cases the person who prohibits, restricts, undermining, sabotaging or destroying the relationship was "just". How is this possible?
The inner enemy is a powerful tool that everyone hates to admit. One can spend years fighting against perceived opponents he or she can blame for the problems or destroying relationships. However, given the right set of circumstances and environment, can give birth to The Enemy Within, and it will do far more harm than the perceived opponents were able to, because no one else knows you as the enemy within. He knows the secrets are never shared with another living soul, she knows about the uncertainties that would never speak out loud about, to know those little things you dislike about yourself that you are never shared with anyone, knows that when you "re the most vulnerable State.
So how are the internal enemies look? This is manifested as uncertainty, doubt, fear, confusion, guilt, self-denial, addiction, and any other negative attitude or behavior that allow entry and to control our lives. If the other person in relation to treating you badly, it could be that other person to recognize the enemy within, and decided to use it at will? If so, consider the following: When the person to recognize their uncertainty, they decided that it can be used against you to make you feel subordinate (less than, less, less, less) than when they recognized the fear in you, they decided it was perfect way for you in your place, when they admit guilt in themselves, they decide not to beat over the head with what you know with the beating, if so addictive, they are used as a carrot for the dependence entice you to participate in destructive behavior . But remember, they only felt comfortable in treating you this way, if they recognize these things as a part of yourself and see if they embrace. Do not worry about changing the predator who has decided to use you against you, because once you get rid of the "enemy within" your life will change for the better.
People know who can play with, and once you recognize that you love, you know your value, you are happy with who you are, you are confident in your abilities, you have certain expectations, and yes - they can be high (only to be reasonable), you know you deserve the best when it comes to love, and there are certain things that you will refuse because they are better than that, they will have to comply or leave you alone. If you choose to follow it is because you share your value system, they respect your wishes and all of you and wish the two of you to get the best out of the relationship (the only kind worth having). If you do not want to comply, there will always win, because they only have to make room for people who will value and deserve to be with you. The inner enemy is not prejudiced and we are all susceptible to struggle with it. However, it is your life, even though uncertainty, doubt, confusion, or fear comes to visit every one of us, we have the power to decide whether or not someone gets to use it against us. I say - NO.
Pamela Reaves © February 7, 2012
Pamela Reaves founder and executive director Nella LLC. She is a Certified Professional Coach, with concentrations in coaching and motivational coaching relationship. Pam is a trained coach clients in their aspirations for a healthy, happy and powerful human experience. It is also the author of a thought-provoking and powerful book, "Is it love or just ... Sick Contribution?" "Is It Love ..." published by Tate Publishing and entrepreneurship, and is very well accepted by readers as far away as Africa and Australia. Pam holds a Bachelors of Science Degree in Business Management and has over 30 years of experience and success in different corporate cultures in the area of human resources, labor relations, finance, legal and real estate. Pam has appeared on numerous radio talk shows, participated in numerous radio talk shows, blog and on cable TV talk show. She is also co-host a virtual think tank, and is a prominent author and lecturer on a number of other cultural events, festivals, book fairs.